AFROGIRLMEMOIRS

Everyday Life

Loving yourself = self-confidence

There’s one thing I’ve learned about when it comes to being happy and confident: it comes with loving and accepting yourself as you truly are. Unfortunately, society and the media have managed to bumsmash (I just made that word up) this bit of morality and reduced it to an obligated conformity that expects you to compromise your identity. The thing is, however, that even though this is not their “worded” intention, visual I believe is human’s strongest sense. In the sense that, what we hear or read influences us, yes, but when a visual is added to that concept, we are able to retain the idea better. That’s why just studying notes does not work very well for me. Somehow I need to have a visual to better understand, or at least be able to break it down mathematically for it to make sense to me.

Now, why I started off talking about society and media is to stress how important what we feed our eyes with is to our own image. It is in our human nature to always want to be better than somebody else, and to be noticed and praised. So what happens when we don’t get any of these things? Our self-esteem drops, and the feeling of “not good enough” infiltrates the mind.

Take me, for example. I had my fair share of a bashed-beyond-recognition self-esteem issues through high school. The reason? Acne! The funny thing was, it was not like I was picked on or made fun of by the other kids. In fact, people thought my shyness cute and found me likeable when, in reality, I was shy because I thought that whenever someone was talking to me, all they saw were the bumps on my face.

I used to be very confident as a kid, shy but still confident. But then when acne came around, the confidence disappeared. And then the wish to regain my smooth skin became my focus. Whenever I saw a girl with smooth skin, I would stare wishingly at her face, and feel even more depressed if she would approach me, even worse become my friend lol.

Man, people told me I was pretty, but I the pimples just blinded me, to the point where looking the mirror was heartbreaking, and I won’t let anybody take a picture of me except me (Still working on that issue lol).

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying you should just sit back, embrace your acne or whatever it is you’re having trouble with, and not do anything about it. But always remind yourself that you are not the first person to have what you do, and neither would you be the last. And whatever it is, if someone has overcome it, so can you. Because the thing is, if you don’t love yourself, there’s NO WAY in the world you’ll want to go around flaunting your style and smiling at people. So we need to start working on loving ourselves. And the first step to doing that is looking at the things you don’t like about yourself, and figuring out what can be dealt with, and what just is unchangeable. The mistake some people make is that those things that are unchangeable become their focus and, because that is the first thing they remind themselves of, they feel defeated and crawl into a hole. But don’t do that. Notice those people who are always smiling every time you see them? Does not mean they are perfect and achieved beings; they decide to dwell on positive things and not what they can’t change about themselves. So turn your energy to those things that can be changed, and begin to work towards improving in those areas. Do research, talk to mentors/peers/friends, and you’ll surprise to find you’re not alone in that struggle. Trust me, you’ll feel encouraged once you begin to see improvement, and things will only get better from there.

So my conclusion: loving yourself is all about finding and bringing out the best in you. If you know what you’re made of, you won’t care about comparing yourself to models or celebrities. You will embrace your uniqueness, and others will too.

P.S: I’m not saying you can’t compare yourself with others, but do that because you admire what they have, and want to also work on achieving the same. Don’t compare to judge, but compare to motivate^^.

Peace y’all!

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One comment on “Loving yourself = self-confidence

  1. Pingback: Control Issues….. « Relationship Voice

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This entry was posted on November 19, 2011 by and tagged , , , , , , , .
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