In life we make mistakes, and I’ve made thousands of them. Sometimes it feels like I can see the loophole ahead, but somehow still manage to not miss it. So I’m a clutz. If there is one thing I would love to change about myself, it will be making fewer mistakes. And not just any kind of mistakes, but you know those ones that could cost you a couple of years trying to fix things? Yea, those ones. There are somethings if I had known better, could have been prevented, but some things you just can’t control or predict.
Take for example, the day you have to decide what your future is going to look like. As a little girl, my first dream career was to be an actress (who doesn’t want to be?), then I changed to singing and, realizing I needed something more sensible, I wavered between civil engineer (little did I know what that was) and forensic science. And so that’s how I started my journey to adulthood. Since a young age, I nurtured the passion for writing, but seeing as it wasn’t looked on as something of reputation and status, I was forced to reduce my ambitions as a writer to something more acceptable. So I’m guessing that’s where my journey down the path of conflict and confusion took its toll.
After High School, I got admitted to Biochemistry at my university. I’ll admit, it was relief to take that step up and gain some recognition in my society, but still there was this struggle within me. And the more confused I got, the more miserable I became. And the more miserable I became, eventually I began to care less, to the point where nothing in life mattered anymore.
Not only did my grades suffer. I became a miserable person, with no charisma, and low self-esteem. And at that point, I lost focus of what my priority was, which was school, and put all my energy in clubs and societies, and dance, telling myself that I would become some sort of entertainer.
Why didn’t I care what grades I got? Because I had no career plan. No dream that had to do with educational background, and most importantly, I did not care about what I studied. I’m telling you, even though I am good with science, going to labs made me the most miserable person on earth. And so thankfully, one day, it hit me: “I don’t want to wake up everyday for the rest of my life to something that makes me miserable.” That’s when I finally took up the path to rediscovering who I was, and what I wanted in life. I was afraid at first, wondering what if I was making the wrong decision. But I took up courage, and dropped out my program. Immediately, I began looking through other programs, and constantly consulting with the advisors on campus. After several personality tests, and lifestyle quizzes, I decided that International Business should be the one. But after applying, I got admitted to Economics instead, meaning the japanese course I had taken landed up in my electives (but at least I can proudly boast of speaking japanese^^).
And that’s where I am now. The one thing I think about, though, is that IF only I had chosen the right path in the beginning, I wouldn’t have lost my fourth year because of switching programs, and I would have graduated and probably been doing my Masters by now. So right now, I’m dealing with letting go of that past, embracing the mistake I made, and moving on. It might have cost me a couple of years, but what is done is done. And mistakes only make us wiser and stronger. Who knows if things wouldn’t have worked out had I finished when I was supposed to, or if I would have graduated still not having a clue what I wanted in life. So I look at my situation as a second chance to find what it is I really want to do, and then my life can resume.
Sounds like a depressing story? It feels like I have endured the worse case, but I’m sharing it in case there’s someone else out there who has or is in a similar scenario. Because not knowing what you want for your future, and not making the right decisions at the beginning, can mess things up real bad.
So take COURAGE. Don’t be afraid to take that risk to try something you’re considering. And nomatter what you do, NEVER – I mean NEVER EVER – throw in the towel.
When you feel confused or like you’ve failed, seek out ways to correct yourself. Talk to older people, or well-trusted friends. And do your own research as well. This will energize you even more, and you won’t have time to feel sorry for yourself^^
There, I know it’s a really long piece, but this is meant to be thought-provoking and challenge and encouragement to you to live and pursue a great life.